tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-62714402011-07-08T04:22:29.469-07:00Make Mine MikeI type, I gripe, I hype. Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comBlogger5871100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-54465559823797743092009-11-16T17:46:00.001-08:002009-11-16T17:49:18.767-08:00You know the drill about me not posting. I admit to joining Facebook, mostly to be part of the conversation... only to discover that no one has anything intelligent to say. Neither do I, of course, but when I have a thought that's over two sentences, I'd still like to spell it out somewhere. So here's something:Finally watched last week's "Glee", and liked it... but one storyline was done on "Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-88618000603051314102009-10-19T15:45:00.000-07:002009-10-19T15:54:23.775-07:00As usual, sorry I haven't written here. But my writing elsewhere is getting notice: My sister-in-law is a very clever video games writer who's won awards in her field. Recently, she was instructed to pen things more in the style of the dating reality show I worked on for 5 seasons. When she told her bosses about me, they said I was a minor celebrity around their office. I don't play much Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-77464161037067532242009-10-07T15:30:00.000-07:002009-10-07T15:40:44.762-07:00Back.Yeah, I'm back. But so are my boys -- the Yankees are in the post-season again. I'm particularly excited because I think they started getting it right this season, acquiring good, young talent who would do well in NY. I'm also psyched because I just finished Joe Torre's book, The Yankees Years. It was a gift from my wife (the 1-year paper anniversary), and surprisingly engrossing. Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-25759951720104655132009-08-27T10:14:00.000-07:002009-08-27T10:17:47.388-07:00Damn, I didn't get to blog yesterday, blowing my streak already. I was stuck at work 'til really late, and then got up at 6 this morning to finish writing another script. Meanwhile, apparently Bernie was busy with paperwork of his own. "'Caught in the act'?! No way, dude. It was like this when I got here."Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-79470527122972228812009-08-25T22:05:00.000-07:002009-08-25T22:44:10.648-07:00If blogging is dead, then consider me the Jason Voorhees or Mike Myers of the cyberworld. I may lay dormant for a while, but I'll come back with a vengeance to slash the internet with further variations on old themes. Or just call me the html herpes.Writing mindless TV all day has kept me from doing the same here. But I'm gonna try to finish up August with a post every day. Now, what to writeMichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-71051842908566070692009-08-01T17:52:00.000-07:002009-08-01T18:46:42.043-07:00Only in LA.A casting agent approached us about our dog. Yeah, my puppy could have representation. Why not? He's cute yet becoming distinguished with age, and probably quite talented... kinda like the Leonardo diCaprio of canines. Probably he could do a few commercials, make a few guest appearances on today's equivalent of "Growing Pains" (what would that be? "2 & 1/2 Men"? I've never seen itMichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-75217238876365694052009-06-29T07:09:00.000-07:002009-06-29T08:20:28.409-07:00The double-whammy of Farrah Fawcett and then Michael Jackson got me considering if MJ's demise was the biggest celebrity death of our generation. It's easily had more of an impact than Kurt Cobain or Princess Di. Andy Kaufman, by the way, is still alive. For me -- more of a punk/heavy metal aficionado than a pop fan -- I was particularly saddened when Joe Strummer of the Clash died a few yearsMichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-51949343657713747452009-06-20T12:34:00.000-07:002009-06-20T13:00:08.069-07:00So busy yesterday, I didn't have time to include a day 5 entry for Week at Bernie's. But now, it's time for...WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S I've discovered that having a puppy is a great way to meet the neighbors. Although we've lived on this street for 2 years now, and I'm out and about almost every day, it wasn't until I was accompanied by Bernie that everyone's come up to us to chat. This is mostly Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-56444483179142834682009-06-18T15:55:00.000-07:002009-06-18T16:02:43.845-07:00WEEK AT BERNIE'SDay 4Bernie's three phases of walking:1. Nope. Not going anywhere. Don't care if you'll make me sit here all day and ignore my cries for attention. I'll get plenty of love from the neighbors passing by. Now, 'scuse me, gotta get my cute on. *whimper, whimper*2. Yay! Home! Screw the leash training, it's dinnertime!3. Oh wait, that means that Purina crap. Can't be as Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-16661870679706731042009-06-17T13:03:00.000-07:002009-06-17T15:12:10.472-07:00WEEK AT BERNIE'SDay 3A few days after we first brought Bernie home, he weighed 6.2 pounds. Last night, he tipped the scale at 9.4 pounds. That's 3.2 lbs., or a 50% increase, in 10 days. So if he continues at that rate, he'll be over 30 pounds in a month, over 200 by the end of the summer, and come Thanksgiving, expect to see Bernie vs. Godzilla, and the winner gets to devour all of Los Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-58238862948547904932009-06-16T17:24:00.000-07:002009-06-16T17:23:17.777-07:00WEEK AT BERNIE'S Day 2Raising a puppy is hard work, but some of it has been surprisingly easy. House-training, for example, has been a breeze. Leash-training is a little more challenging. And then there's getting him to stop nipping. We're working on this, but it requires a lot of patience, knowing it's natural for a teething Labrador who's also part terrier... or T-rex, I dunno. Perfect Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-82183886216611107332009-06-15T15:22:00.001-07:002009-06-15T15:45:14.765-07:00Even though I'm back working the TV gig, that doesn't mean I won't blog about my puppy again. In fact, I plan to make these next several days... WEEK AT BERNIE'SBut since I'm pretty busy, today I'll just take a quick moment to explain his name -- it's not an homage to the late Bernie Mac or that schmo Madoff, but in fact, to the great Yankee centerfielder, Bernie Williams. My wife denies it, Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-78541377572390108772009-06-04T22:01:00.000-07:002009-06-04T22:24:09.174-07:00Man, the excuses we throw out there to explain the lack of blogging. For me, it was enjoying my new marriage, then my long hours at work, and honestly, lately, by the time I get to write about something, my wife has already twittered it to nearly everyone I know. Most people are already privy to the fact that someone busted the window to Adelphia's car in order to steal her iPod... which we Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-31052261884457163082009-05-31T11:23:00.000-07:002009-05-31T14:05:58.328-07:00Behold Makeminemikeum lethargicus, better known as the Great White Vacationing Blogger. Native to New York, this ornery creature has managed to survive in the harsh climate of Santa Monica. But it has also been spotted in exotic ecosystems such as La Quinta, California, near Palm Springs. There, the animal's pace is much slower, slathering its blindingly reflective skin with a protective coat Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-36737112174188620942009-05-28T09:25:00.000-07:002009-05-28T10:18:47.065-07:00Anyone who knows me understands that steady exercise is the one thing that could keep me semi-sane. So here's why I'm starting to go nuts:With my time off and weather getting too hot some days, I've substituted my compulsive running with more frequent visits to the gym. Pumping iron, getting buff like Hugh Jackman or Daniel Craig or Jason Statham minus the weird accent. I went Saturday, MondayMichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-72535279240722399902009-05-18T23:02:00.000-07:002009-05-18T23:56:16.563-07:005 Lists of 55 things I've done on my work hiatusSleepA hundred loads of laundry, wait for the stupid cable guy and phone company dude to fix thingsLeft the house to avoid getting stuck with household choresExercised twice as hard to make up for time lost working long hours on the jobDid I mention sleep?5 books I've finished and enjoyed recentlyWhen You Are Engulfed in Flames by David Sedaris (notMichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-66715889491110062212009-04-22T11:47:00.000-07:002009-04-22T12:08:51.460-07:00Two weeks later, I'm back. See, I thought our show was done at the beginning of April. So as we wound down our season, I tried to get started on blogging again, thinking, when I was on hiatus, I'd be posting so much, I'd be the poster boy of posting.Turns out, they kept me on for another week, and another after that. Also, I got hired on another show here. But just to help finish up the Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-66873091987352523742009-04-07T14:58:00.000-07:002009-04-07T15:15:49.231-07:00Friday:Got outta work early, came home.Slept.Got up, went to a party, had fun, came home.Slept. But only, like, 4 hours.Saturday:Got up early and ran race. Lightning fast.Slept. In car.Went to the track, lost money, drove home.Slept.Went out for Chinese food, walked off the kung pao, came home.Slept.Got up to read and watch dumb TV.Slept. For, like, 14 hours.Sunday:Made coffee and Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-75731525474887224062009-04-03T13:45:00.001-07:002009-04-03T13:50:57.621-07:00Time is money. And lately, my mind is on both.Time: I'm doing a 5K race soon, and when I ran this course last time, I set a personal best of a few seconds under 21 minutes. So I was wondering if I can do, say, 20:30. Well, I was at the gym with only a half hour to spare, so I got on the treadmill and did a 3.1 mile sprint. Just under 20 minutes. Really? Of course, running a race is totallyMichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-19653733278004043092009-04-01T10:58:00.000-07:002009-04-01T11:01:59.520-07:00Good news: Our show got picked up for another season, and I'll be going back.Bad news: That means more ridiculously long hours and even weekend work.Good news: Hey it's a job. And a good one. In this economy, I'm super lucky.Bad news: You realize reality TV is cheap which is why networks prefer it.Good news: That sounds like good news for me. Bad news: But what about the viewers, man?!Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-16999021622847090332009-02-16T11:48:00.000-08:002009-02-16T11:48:00.769-08:00Why is it that the Valentine's Day dinner I prepared -- while it tasted delicious -- doesn't look as good as it does in the cookbooks? Chicken saltimbocca, theirs vs. mine Cherry gingerbread, on paper and in real life. Maybe because I'm no Giada Di Laurentiis, even in my wife's apron... Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-92012315072123683292009-02-02T11:00:00.000-08:002009-02-02T11:08:40.924-08:00Blog identity crisis: • Haven't seen my nephew in a week. Going to stop by tonight; he should be double in size by now. Baby blog.• On Saturday I slept late and watched my new favorite show, "Spectacular Spider-Man". Awesome. How do I get in on that gig? Animation blog.• That night, I took Adelphia to Primitivo, a tapas restaurant in Venice. Really good short ribs, paella, tuna tartare andMichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-28957641614277433902009-01-29T18:28:00.001-08:002009-01-29T18:33:08.073-08:00My wife and I have switched places.When the guys at the office wanna stop at the local Hollywood grease vendor, I politely decline. Like always, I've brought my healthy high fiber lunch to work. Besides, as delicious as Molly's Hamburgers could be, the problem is I couldn't possibly calculate the Weight Watcher Points value. I tell my wife, sure, we can check out that new tapas place on Main Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-65429638224204520402009-01-19T11:40:00.000-08:002009-01-19T12:36:29.519-08:00Scattered weekend revelations:1. Yahoo news is plagiarizing my blog. They had an article recently that echoed my post from a while back about how Facebook usage has diminished real-life interpersonal contact. It's like I've been saying all along. Last week I asked a friend how he's doing, and he said, "Well, if you were on Facebook, you would know." 2. The New York Times also had an articleMichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-87944088851810279512009-01-13T18:37:00.000-08:002009-01-13T18:38:27.637-08:005 thoughts regarding my nephew's bris last week:1. Are all rabbis frustrated stand-up comedians? Or just the mensches I've met lately -- the ones we interviewed for our wedding, who officiated my mother's recent headstone unveiling and this schticky alter cocker? He had a jokey rejoinder for every occasion. ("No thanks, if I ate a bagel at every bris, I'd look like a bagel!") Still, you don'tMichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-34460690056501770772009-01-05T10:45:00.000-08:002009-01-05T10:51:53.542-08:00My two biggest holiday gifts:New TV42"Flat-screen, sleek, black panelEasy installation and covered for up to 3-year warrantyPerfect for hundreds of digital TV channelsProvides clear picture and state-of-the-art soundDisplays infantile programmingTakes up a lot of space in our living roomGreat for DVDs and Blu-Rays Will be outshined by next year's modelCosts a lot, but was on sale at Target, and Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-10326180438381718262008-12-31T21:55:00.000-08:002008-12-31T22:14:49.200-08:00Happy 2009, or as I call it, the Year of the Nephew.My sister's doing great and her baby's beautiful.In five minutes we got him making goofy faces. Can't wait to see what we can do in a year. Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-72282661993303062532008-12-29T20:21:00.000-08:002008-12-29T20:25:40.011-08:00Slumdog Millionaire is the best movie I've seen this year. I've seen, like, 7 movies this year.But, still.On a more exciting note, I think I'm gonna be an uncle tomorrow.Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-25445331166332542282008-12-28T12:48:00.000-08:002008-12-28T13:26:21.385-08:00Why I keep waking up earlier than I really want to:• That stupid thing called work. But hey, I'm on vacation, so I can sleep late, right?• No -- the next day, we had to get ready for our Vodka Latke party.• Hungover, we had to drive out to Nevada.• In Vegas had to go to the bank bright and early, just to wait half the day for those schmoes.• Then, our unrequested hotel wake-up call in the form Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-35162234016214974242008-12-27T13:35:00.000-08:002008-12-27T13:45:52.576-08:00As the year comes to a close, and entertainment writers sum up recent celebrity deaths, they quickly update their lists with recent passings like Eartha Kitt and that Johnny Cakes guy from The Sopranos. With so much bad news to mention, some fail to include (Entertainment Weekly) and others will mostly likely remember (The Academy Awards next year) one in particular of interest to me -- Nina Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-89109544615196672682008-12-26T11:26:00.000-08:002008-12-26T11:39:03.699-08:00I woke up to a surprise visitor at our door and Nanette & Brent laughed at me in my flannel pajamas. I'd be embarrassed, but it's 44 degrees, the coldest I think it's been here. And although it was 9:30 and I should've been up, I feel like these last 2 days of sleep are making up for months without it.Especially this week. We started our vacation with our second annual Vodka Latke party. The Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-29109946205846289282008-12-15T18:29:00.000-08:002008-12-15T18:50:14.114-08:00I know, I know. Bad blogger.I won't bore you with a big list of why I haven't written.I'll just bore you with one reason -- running.One reason, two milestones. This weekend I did a 10K race and beat my personal best time by 10 seconds. It may not sound like much, but I'm proud that I keep getting faster as I get older. By the time I'm a senior citizen I'll be giving those Kenyan guys a run Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-34898282813771491522008-11-27T12:07:00.000-08:002008-11-27T12:38:09.699-08:00Most Thanksgiving mornings I do some kind of long run -- a 10-miler or a fast 5K race -- so I can chow down with metabolic impunity. But today, the hell with it. I've been so exhausted from my schedule, this is the first chance I've had in a long time to sleep more than 6 hours a night... and, of course, blog. So for your viewing, mouth-watering pleasure, here's some of the foods we'll be Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-55032354531286170912008-11-12T12:14:00.000-08:002008-11-12T17:13:48.532-08:00I'm not on Facebook. I don't Twitter. But I'm not out of touch, y'all. I have a phone, e-mail, and most importantly -- I exist. Like, I can actually look you in the eye and listen to you and speak words and use inflections without emoticons or different fonts. I'm personable, can hold a conversation and try to maintain good hygiene. So talk to me, will ya?Hey, I understand. Facebook's fun.Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-77493778212739567282008-11-05T17:14:00.000-08:002008-11-05T17:17:26.723-08:00We got to leave work early yesterday to catch the election returns. I got into work late because of the election, too, but putting in a full day wasn't the reason I stuck around. I had to kill time before going downtown. I had agreed to go to a hockey game that night. It was a freeway series -- LA vs. Anaheim -- which wouldn't have mattered had we remembered that the fourth was a Tuesday -- Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-68816422906191100172008-11-04T13:25:00.000-08:002008-11-04T13:31:39.640-08:00MY LAME REASONS FOR BARELY BLOGGING LATELYWaited an hour and a half in line to vote -- and needed to rest up the last 2 months for that.Developed a crush on Rachel Maddow. My wife doesn't seem to mind.Spent last week carving skull pumpkins and spider pumpkins, wearing my wife's homemade knitted hat on my skull or spiders on my pumpkin. I drive to Hollywood, write brilliance or schlock or Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-35664900420129755852008-10-19T20:41:00.000-07:002008-10-19T20:47:11.982-07:00Seven words I never thought I'd say:Thank goodness Tampa Bay won the pennant.Seven more:I'm sick of Red Sox winning titles. And another seven:Didn't matter who won -- go National League!Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-32089231286188377802008-10-16T10:15:00.000-07:002008-10-16T10:17:11.313-07:00Getting ready for work this morning:Adelphia: I think this dress is too low-cut. Michael: You say that like it's a bad thing.A: Keep in mind I'm teaching 5th graders today.M: Oh. A: I should change.M: I guess. I'd be staring at your cleavage all day, and I'm not even a 5th grader.A: Yeah, right, you're not a 5th grader.M: Well, I'm smarter than one. A: Just not as mature.M: WhateverMichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-73129325654552851842008-10-13T12:40:00.002-07:002008-10-13T12:42:23.675-07:00So much to update, so little time. All the stories and photos from our honeymoon in Hawaii are starting to become old news. But don't worry, even with the time delay, I'll still be able to accurately describe it all without indulging in hyperbolic embellishments.But before I talk about surfing 50-ft. waves and BASE-jumping down a volcano, I'll discuss more recent developments while they're Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-66813933634059869152008-10-05T17:04:00.000-07:002008-10-06T20:44:34.538-07:00Don't worry, kids. Marital bliss hasn't kept Mikey from blogging, even if it's been over 5 weeks. Hey, that means we've have lasted longer than Britney's first marriage (that non-Seinfeld Jason Alexander dude in Vegas before she met tool #2 K-Fed) and Drew Barrymore's, too (some schmo before she met the other schmo Tom Green). We're already gaining ground on their second marriages as well, andMichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-56635453131283771902008-08-31T07:54:00.000-07:002008-08-31T21:59:42.731-07:00Usually graphic novels and comic books never translate well to live action, but this is one instance when the real life version was even better. The wedding was a spectacular, practically perfect romantic evening with family, good friends and of course, my wonderful wife. If you've bounced around Blogland lately, you may have heard about our cupcakes, photobooth, Yankees & Mets yarmulkes and Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-21831950644320651292008-08-27T22:24:00.000-07:002008-08-27T23:39:44.516-07:00Well, I made it through all the pre-wedding family gatherings. Stressful but fun. I can't remember the last time I was around so many Long Island accents. My fiancee's relatives were a witty wisecracking bunch. It made me wish more of my family could be there, especially my parents. And not just so I could get some Yankee fan support to counteract Adelphia's NY Mets lovin' aunt, who I think Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-36570743022658790172008-08-26T14:57:00.000-07:002008-08-26T15:29:06.700-07:00Hours til wedding: 51Hours til rehearsal dinner: 28Hours til relatives congregate at our house for a get-to-know you BBQ: 4I'm fairly confident everything will go well. Just in case, I try to imagine the worst case scenarios. Earthquake? Flash flood? Plague of locusts? Zombie apocalypse? Not a problem. But here's a short list of things I pray don't happen... again:1. A relative Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-70344897106536725812008-08-25T19:42:00.000-07:002008-08-25T19:43:31.374-07:00Dear new co-worker,Let’s recap, okay? The first thing you said to me was: “It is nice to meet you, but just so you know, I’m not much of a chatter.” I smiled and took your word for it, since the only other time you talked to me all week was when I was setting up my voicemail and you told me to turn down the volume. “That’s pretty loud if I can hear it over here," you said.And a week later, Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-82651001122208635512008-08-24T20:25:00.000-07:002008-08-24T22:06:44.228-07:00Nearly freaked out last night.No, not because our wedding is in 5 days. No cold feet so far, and I think everything's running smoothly. Once I put that piece of furniture together, my to-do list was -- ta-da -- done. To celebrate, we went out to Santino's, a popular tapas place down the street that's always packed, for good reason (excellent empanadas, frittatas and crepes) and now we have a Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-80222973812344981232008-08-23T21:49:00.000-07:002008-08-23T22:06:58.773-07:00How to get your future wife really turned on: Take this thoughtful but monstrous wedding gift that she registered for but was completely intimidated by the assembly required, use your clever construction skills and awesome set of tools......and turn it into this: She'll be raving about this great piece of furniture for the rest of the night and oh-so-thankful for you for setting it up. If that Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-85266693323046022972008-08-22T18:21:00.000-07:002008-08-22T18:41:33.796-07:00When I'm so tired I feel like I'm deadI try to rhyme the thoughts in my headLike last night we met with the rabbi guyAnd then had dinner up at VersaillesGarlic chicken and rice and plantains in EncinoBut had to drive home, so I had passed on the vinoWould the spices screw up my digestion?Queasiness soon answered that question.So made up for it with a salad todayWhen I had lunch with the blogger Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-84038105303638019882008-08-21T16:42:00.000-07:002008-08-21T16:50:11.231-07:00So last night, I was home, watching the Olympics on TV.During the 20 seconds it took for Usain Bolt to set a new world record in the 200m, I had a weird feeling.During the 20 minutes of celebration afterwards, I realized what it was:I knew this would happen. No, I'm not clairvoyant. I just have Yahoo as one of my bookmarked websites. And they splashed on their main page the information about Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-13083954996991848622008-08-20T11:55:00.000-07:002008-08-20T12:03:20.537-07:00The conversation that saved me $3, but made me want a $6 scotch afterwards:Michael: How much to get this shirt pressed?Dry Cleaner: Six dollars.M: You’re kidding.DC: Alright, five.M: Keep getting more serious.DC: No, really it’s five dollars.M: But if I had this shirt laundered here, it’d be two bucks.DC: You want it laundered?M: No, just pressed.DC: But you just said laundered.M: No, Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-79603646876475480412008-08-19T22:41:00.000-07:002008-08-19T22:48:27.799-07:00Adelphia: Thanks for getting me kosher deli, but I'm so sick, I can hardly taste the matzoh ball soup. Michael: Oh, you poor thing. Then no sense you trying that black and white cookie either.A: I knew it. You got the black and white cookie for you.M: I got it for us to share. That’s what the black and white cookie’s all about. Sharing. And equality.A: Yeah, but knowing you, you're Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-71925154736704890722008-08-18T21:46:00.001-07:002008-08-18T22:12:15.499-07:00Those running races in the Olympics were exciting, eh? Like that Jamaican guy who set the world's record in 100m, even though he started celebrating before crossing the finish line?Didn't you love the understatement by the American dude who got the bronze and said of his Jamaican rival (aptly named Bolt) -- "the guy can run"?And that Romanian 38-year-old woman who left her younger competitors Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-19260680040811641682008-08-17T10:41:00.000-07:002008-08-17T21:57:10.443-07:00Yesterday's post about my dad puttin' up his one-two dukes reminded me of other faux feistiness from my father.Back in elementary school, I was briefly friends with a couple of schmoes Matt and Paul who at the time I thought were cool, so me proving my coolness quotient meant avoiding the parents if possible, even when the guys came over my house. Unfortunately, we had to go through the kitchen Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-86718861267511771962008-08-16T23:29:00.000-07:002008-08-17T00:42:10.536-07:00In a tribute to the Olympic games in Beijing, and my late father's birthday today, I present Dad's bout with an up and coming Chinese hopeful back during my parents' visit to China in 2000. Mom and Dad really loved this trip, despite not winning any gold medals or Golden Gloves titles. The kid in this photo is probably competing in the welterweight division in the Olympics this year. So if he Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-30034230472746137202008-08-15T23:14:00.001-07:002008-08-15T23:40:06.507-07:00I just got a message from my sister that my uncle had to have emergency heart surgery. I think he'll be okay, but he'll spend so much time in the hospital he won't be able to make the wedding, which is really disappointing.Like I said, though, he'll do fine; he's already recovering. In fact, he had the surgery Wednesday, but I only first heard about it tonight and I'll give him a call tomorrow.Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-4945391399757542012008-08-14T17:45:00.000-07:002008-08-14T17:50:17.542-07:00I was listening to the podcast of This American Life while running yesterday, and as usual, that thought-provoking podcast got me pondering personal experiences -- maybe I should do my own video podcast. But until I work out the technology and get ready for my close-up, I'll have to write out my musings -- specifically, on TAL's theme this week, of "Fear of Sleep". Now, unlike the people Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-13437943872301368662008-08-13T22:43:00.000-07:002008-08-13T23:03:02.351-07:00Three inspired things my fiancee has said recently, or, reasons #905-#907 I'm marrying her in two weeks: 1. "We should switch to AT&T. Because their slogan is 'More bars in more places.' And I'm all for more bars."2. "Why don't they have swimming on every night? Even after the Olympics, they could air some cool reality shows. Like, 'Swimming with the Stars'. Or 'So You Can Think You Can Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-32213419284128938832008-08-12T23:09:00.000-07:002008-08-12T23:20:17.464-07:00Michael: You don't need to see my Comic-Con pass.Stormtrooper: We don't need to see his Comic-Con pass.M: These aren't the geeks you're looking for.S: These aren't the geeks we're looking for.M: He can go about his fan-boy visit.S: You can go about your fan-boy visit.M: Blog on.S: Blog on... blog on...Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-78884952602983675792008-08-11T21:36:00.000-07:002008-08-11T22:26:03.098-07:00People love the drama surrounding the swimmers in the Olympics -- the French chick who defected to join her Italian swimming boyfriend, only to get snubbed by Italy and go back with her goggles between her legs, and learn that her former Bambino was doing the breaststroke with her pool-side rival. Not to mention the photos of the freestyling Frenchie without her one-piece.And then there's Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-37651191314322262992008-08-10T22:12:00.000-07:002008-08-10T22:12:30.247-07:00Who needs the Olympics? My bachelor party had its own series of sports spectacular:• The manly meat-eating marathon and scotch-guzzling relay.• Synchronized shot-drinks.• The freestyle ego-stroke, deluding ourselves that the women in our lives won't mind us extend this to a guy's weekend in Vegas, even after I'm married.• The main event: The Pole-ympics. Can't go into details, but suffice to Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-34850166537855432952008-08-09T18:26:00.000-07:002008-08-09T18:36:34.968-07:00Hey, I'm gonna be an uncle. I'm very excited that my sister's having a baby. But that won't happen 'til January.So in the meantime, I'm welcoming the new batch of spiders that hatched right outside our door. It's hard to see, but those hundreds of little spiderlings are kinda cute.Yeah, they're creepy-looking and gross, too. But so is childbirth.Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-81721679556191540882008-08-08T15:12:00.000-07:002008-08-08T15:20:46.677-07:00I need a drink.Not just to drink a drink but to create one, too. And name it after me.Today I saw someone drinking an Arnold Palmer. An “Arnold Palmer Lite”, out of a can. Genius. It’s so simple. Iced tea and lemonade. And now it’s a big commercial property, appealing to consumers who consume. And since it’s a soft drink, anyone can have one. But throw in some amaretto, it’s an Arnold Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-83599043286982639012008-08-07T17:36:00.000-07:002008-08-07T18:26:22.190-07:00I realized recently that I managed to keep some things secret from my mother her entire life. That may not sound like a big deal. Some people pulled all sortsa crap when they were young. But I was for the most part a pretty good kid -- I usually just got in trouble with the teachers and the principal; law enforcement authorities rarely needed to get involved. And I was always really bad at Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-64718108354398592762008-08-06T18:34:00.000-07:002008-08-06T18:39:43.736-07:00Nearly every day we get something from our registry. It's fun to come home and find out we got another package delivered. These are all things we need, and the generosity of gifting friends is greatly appreciated... but I realized I'm just not that materialistic. The more stuff you have, the more stuff can be broken or taken away. And I hate clutter. The minute we got our full set of dishes,Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-19271406948782708192008-08-05T21:38:00.001-07:002008-08-05T21:50:30.930-07:00I've said it before -- planning a wedding isn't that hard... if you're good at making decisions. But all too often, there's so many factors to consider.Take, for example, the idea of a memorial area. We thought it'd be a good idea to have a section devoted to our loved ones who couldn't be with us. With photos. But who? And how many photos? There's a good picture of me & my dad. And the Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-70891495058316784912008-08-04T21:42:00.000-07:002008-08-04T21:46:16.672-07:00Last weekend, I got to go do a press junket for Tropic Thunder, which meant interviewing Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr., Jack Black, Nick Nolte and others. I suppose I'm name-dropping here, but honestly, the best part of the whole experience is the free food they offer at the Four Seasons, and the most exciting celebrity encounter was in the hotel lobby afterwards when I said hi to LL Cool J. Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-34171619040680466982008-08-03T22:14:00.000-07:002008-08-03T22:34:21.593-07:00HUNDRED DOLLAR WEEKENDOn Friday night, Adelphia and I rode our bikes down to the First Friday series they have at Abbot Kinney where they keep the stores open late, play music and serve drinks. At one store, my fiancee spotted on the floor -- a $100 bill. I looked around, furtively picked it up and stashed it away.Adelphia felt bad. We just got found money, a free C-note, and she felt bad. Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-3851184872716323042008-08-02T22:58:00.000-07:002008-08-02T23:21:03.806-07:00When my fiancee returned from her bridal shower in NY, her mother called. I later learned that Adelphia's mom just wanted to tell me that she liked meeting my relatives. But at the time, here's the conversation that ensued:Answering machine: Hi, Adelphia, it's Mom, just making sure you got back okay, and I want to talk to Michael later too.Adelphia: Why does my mom want to talk to you?MichaelMichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-24482341886705577552008-08-01T22:28:00.001-07:002008-08-01T22:55:02.384-07:00Okay, I'll try to keep up the per diem posting in August, for Aimee's sake, until the last few fateful days of the month... So here we go with a quickie:I tried out for another game show today.Won't say what show it was.Can't say if I'll end up getting on the show.Shouldn't say that -- just like last time, even if I got on -- the show is structured so that I could easily get screwed in the end Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-10448006458163720772008-07-31T22:39:00.000-07:002008-07-31T23:19:34.283-07:00I did it. Blogged every day this month. 31 flavors, baby.Oh yeah, I should probably put up some content today, something of substance.Fine. The more I read about the latest space exploration discoveries, the more I'm convinced there's no life out there, despite what NASA says. Yes, alien life forms are alive and unwell... at Comic-Con in San Diego -- I've seen 'em -- but not Mars.I say this Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-13644131060315374182008-07-30T13:04:00.000-07:002008-07-30T13:24:17.736-07:00I'm surprised this doesn't happen more often:If you work in most large offices, you usually have to dial 9 to get an outside line. And of course, if you have call an outside area code, or often even the same area code you're in, you have to dial 1 first.And many large area codes have a 1 as the middle digit (e.g., LA: 310 or 213, NY: 212 or 718, SF Bay: 415 or 510, Chicago: 312, Boston: 617, etcMichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-47091635400050173842008-07-29T11:50:00.000-07:002008-07-29T12:07:36.099-07:00Three things that fortunately didn't happen in today's 5.8 earthquake:1. All our new dishes and glasses didn't fall and shatter. Otherwise, so much for our wedding gifts.2. I was using the bathroom but didn't go out like Elvis.3. My fiancée didn't go nuts.Okay, well, two outta three ain't bad.Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-70420563350612114022008-07-28T18:17:00.000-07:002008-07-28T21:44:47.240-07:00Moo Shu Haiku5 Japanese poems about 1 Chinese meal Sickness recipe:Greasy chicken, peanuts andMSG, of course.Recipe rewrite:Free local delivery, One fateful phone call.The Red Hot Chili Peppers can rock in concertAnd in my stomachKung pao. Wow. And how.Too much chow. No more, I vow.But I say that now.The fortune cookiePromises wealth and success.I just want Bromo.Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-57479536619397532302008-07-27T21:05:00.000-07:002008-07-27T21:34:52.009-07:00Why did I come back from Comic-Con early? So I could spend one full day in our apartment by myself without Adelphia, who's off in NY for her bridal shower.Woke well-rested 'cause I had the entire bed and no one else's alarm going off.Read the papers without anyone bugging me for a section or jabbering on about corny how-they-met stories in the Sunday Styles.Took all the time I wanted during my Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-7289141171254959442008-07-26T20:30:00.000-07:002008-07-26T20:42:36.410-07:00Just got back from Comic-Con and boy are my cyber-genetic mutated zombie-chewed digitally-altered vampire-ninja arms tired.In the short time I was there, I saw:Sara Silverman, having lunch with several other TV comedians, before putting on a wig and sunglasses to leave incognito? Or as some kind of weird performance art? Carlton Cuse & Damon Lindelof, the exec. producers of "Lost", standing Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-76465798773782904442008-07-25T10:10:00.000-07:002008-07-25T10:11:40.659-07:00Adelphia is leaving me today.Fine. Go then.Go back to New York, to stay with your sister, and yo mama.Have your girlie bridal shower in NYC.I'll have plenty of fun here in California. I'm not gonna sit around missing you like some lonely loser dweeb. I'm gonna hang out with other date-less wonders.I'm going to Comic-Con. The final frontier for fanboys. The Hottest Nerd Hootenannie. It's Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-54433536515638201992008-07-24T22:00:00.000-07:002008-07-24T22:50:30.957-07:00Living in LA all this time, I've been to services at a cemetery on three occasions, as of today. And that doesn't include seeing late night scary movies at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery, which I've done a few times, too. Yet tonight was the first time I ever checked out the Twilight Dance Series at the Santa Monica Pier. Even though they do this every Thursday night in the summer and we could Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-56687709970430634202008-07-23T21:04:00.000-07:002008-07-23T21:41:14.911-07:00Poor Adelphia.My fiancée loves the Hollywood Bowl. She'd go with friends, or on a whim, just attend a classical outdoor performance on her own, and always have a wonderful time. It'd be even more fun to have someone special to go with. And hey, I'm someone special.So what was the problem? Well, surprisingly, the catch wasn't that I'm not a huge fan of concerts -- I could enjoy these summer Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-64610321543362457392008-07-22T23:39:00.000-07:002008-07-23T00:04:51.471-07:00Conversation between my fiancee & me, returning from the Hollywood Bowl:Adelphia: Did you enjoy that?Michael: Sure.A: What's wrong? M: Nothing.A: Oh, you never like going to the Bowl. It wasn't crowded this time.M: I know. I liked it, really.A: Was it the music?M: Well, you said it would be Mozart.A: Yeah, but I'm sorry it didn't have Tom Hulce doing his Amadeus giggle.M: C'mon, I'm Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-18535819592919720852008-07-21T23:12:00.000-07:002008-07-22T00:14:35.938-07:00hey wuts up w/u?im just chillino sht batman is kewlheath ledger + joker = awesumits sad :( crstian bale iz so hot he makes me ? my sexualtym not gay tho Iswearbatmobile iz phatpeepl nxt to me R pissdwot jerxtelling me not 2 txt u just cos im in d mo-V the-8ri like aron eckhrt 2but really i like girlz magie gyllenhaal = hotalmst as much az jakei cant figer out wot just happnd in moVcos the guy Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-45027853559094405362008-07-20T22:05:00.000-07:002008-07-20T23:05:00.317-07:00A few hours ago I was in Barnes & Nobles with my fiancee, looking for light beach reading for our honeymoon, thinking about perhaps buying Chelsea Handler's book, maybe trying one of the old Chuck Palahniuks, or something I saw about the history and philosophy of comedy that turned out to seem more like slapdash fluff than the profoundly funny study that the New York Times Book Review made it outMichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-91294219136631163432008-07-19T23:06:00.000-07:002008-07-19T23:43:28.524-07:00Sometimes I think certain jerks in this world are trying to drive me nuts. Every now and then, though, it's the other way around. Three examples:1. There's this guy at the poker game who's usually pretty cool, but is known for throwing angry fits when he loses a hand. Dude, it's just a game. I think he's frustrated that he can't read people's minds based on how they bet. Especially people Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-44997419742754526592008-07-18T22:37:00.000-07:002008-07-18T23:05:35.968-07:00Hollywood's a hip happening hangout... at night. But having to go there early in the morning, here's 3 observations I made:1. The Amoeba Records/Arclight Theatre parking lot is apparently the daytime resting place for the hearse that advertises its tour of local celebrity murders and other untimely deaths. It's not everyday you see a hearse with more prominent advertisements than a NASCAR Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-35669864575629572722008-07-17T21:50:00.000-07:002008-07-17T22:34:50.755-07:00I've made movie lists that may appear elsewhere on the web, like best heist flicks, best things blowin' up real good and most disgusting scenes on film. Some of these may get published on fan sites in the near future, we'll see...Another trend I've noticed is movies that aren't bad, except for the fact that the lesson learned was pretty friggin' obvious right from the beginning. In some cases,Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-35999824249370951732008-07-16T16:43:00.000-07:002008-07-16T17:10:26.406-07:00I baked more of those delicious, healthy cupcakes I made last week. Someone had commented that they needed icing, but actually, they don't. What the photo didn't convey is how moist and fluffy they were on the bottom, and magically creamy they were on top, like the cake became icing itself.Don't worry, this blog won't turn into a recipe site. Not even for good hearty food guys can prepare on Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-89605510583057814332008-07-15T17:25:00.000-07:002008-07-15T17:31:10.766-07:00A few years ago, I became friends with this guy named Sandor. It’s pronounced “Shon-door”. He’d explain his strange name, that it’s not really that strange -- his parents are Hungarian, and Sandor is just the Magyar version of Zander, or Alexander. Basically, in Budapest he’d be “Alex”. Kinda the way John takes on new forms in other countries -- Sean, Ian, Juan, Ivan, etc…I thought of this Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-68019004855468438982008-07-14T22:45:00.000-07:002008-07-14T23:17:24.780-07:00When I was out running along the beach last weekend, I spotted out in the ocean -- several dolphins frolicking close to the shore. Yes, I was sure they were dolphins and not sharks. I could tell from their fin size and bottle noses and I didn't hear any score by John Williams.It reminded me of the time I went on a whale-watching trip with my dad. Some marine biology tour hosted the expedition,Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-48318018203688350012008-07-13T22:54:00.000-07:002008-07-13T22:57:51.888-07:00People often list their all-time favorite concerts, but I don't know if I can do the same. I'm not much for concerts. I recognize there's a certain energy and spontaneity to live music, but pardon my cynicism, it often means paying way too much money to stand around and listen to songs performed exactly the way you've heard them on the album, only in an over-amplified sound system. And then Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-2681509421406466872008-07-12T23:37:00.000-07:002008-07-13T22:58:26.691-07:00WAYS TO HAVE FUN AND INFURIATE YOUR FIANCEE WHILE SHOPPING FOR WEDDING RINGS:1. Put the ring onto your pinkie and give your best mafioso imitation. When no one gets that you're doing Brando, tell 'em you'll make an impression they can't confuse.2. Touch your prospective ring to your fiancee's and say, "Wonder Twin powers activate! Form of: Someone who can afford all this!"3. When that fails Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-79595070611255484282008-07-11T22:46:00.000-07:002008-07-11T23:06:52.652-07:00Michael: Hey, did you know your Mets are in third place?Adelphia: So are your Yankees.M: Right. But the Mets are one and half games out of first. The Yankees are six and a half games behind.A: So my team's doing better.M. Not exactly. Both teams have the same exact record. 49 and 44. But in the American League East, that doesn't get you as far as it does in the National League.A: What?Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-13732111113777454002008-07-10T17:26:00.000-07:002008-07-10T18:45:22.322-07:00Every time I read a story about how the polar ice is melting, it depresses me. Yes, of course, because global warming blah blah ozone layer recycle your children are the future depletion of Al Gore and all that...But I wanna be able to do the Antarctic Ice Marathon someday. Crazy, I know. But it combines my fascination with the Arctic (or its flipside), and love of running. My friends who've Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-90922824241163873322008-07-09T23:09:00.000-07:002008-07-09T23:09:32.509-07:00The trainer at my gym asked where I'd been, which gave me mixed feelings. Guilty that I hadn't been there in week, defensive in explaining that I hadn't slacked off -- I was running regularly the whole time, proud that I covered so many miles, but also a bit flattered that my absence was noticed.But I mentioned I couldn't allow myself to skip workouts if I wanted to look half decent on the beachMichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-58127722681516530812008-07-08T20:58:00.000-07:002008-07-08T21:51:03.095-07:00For a while, I had it good. My fiancee decided we needed to eat healthier. My grilled steaks and pasta dishes were too heavy, so if we were going to watch what we ate, well, she would watch would we ate. She took over in the kitchen.Thanks to her new favorite menu guru, Hungry Girl. Adelphia even went to a book signing and met Lisa Lillien, the Hungry Girl herself, and came home with her Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-73586336259677488002008-07-07T23:09:00.000-07:002008-07-08T00:02:10.873-07:00I refuse to let those squirrels get the best of me. Our avocado tree is old and doesn't bear much fruit anymore. And what few avocados do grow on the branches immediately get stolen by those sneaky furry-tailed rodents, Hamas and Fatah. It pisses me off because those two bickering sons of bitches don't even enjoy the avocados -- they usually gnaw away at the buds long before they get ripe. I Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-69306083279124969702008-07-06T19:34:00.001-07:002008-07-06T20:18:44.510-07:00Boom-boom-chick... boom-boom-chick... I'm here in Venice, my name ain't Dennis, I don't play tennis, I ain't no menace but you can suck my pennis...I hope our bikes are safe. If they get stolen, at least I'd have a new blog post. And for a title: Tales from the Kryptonite.What's with all the guys in the pork pie hats these days?What should I blog about today? Man, fingerprints are kinda Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-77462502971284696012008-07-05T21:41:00.000-07:002008-07-05T23:01:48.533-07:00I write a lot about running, and I probably will continue to do so. Also, I've previously talked about how my iPod has helped with my exercise routine, and I'll talk about that some more, too. Mostly because what I listen to keeps evolving.Sometimes it's podcasts, but they have to be really compelling to take my mind off the miles ahead. Now that the Lost podcasts are on hiatus like the show Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-14393556380703340902008-07-04T21:42:00.000-07:002008-07-04T22:25:21.368-07:00One Fourth of July, when I was a kid, I remember I was at sleepaway camp. I've been reminiscing about camp a lot lately, possibly because of this book, which I must own. Nearly every Jewish kid from the East Coast suburbs went away to camp in the summer. Yes, kinda like in Meatballs. Also, I found a website from my old camp. It featured photos of some of the counselors I admired. Looking atMichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-42722770076109307612008-07-03T16:34:00.000-07:002008-07-03T16:54:55.326-07:00Got no job.Got no money.But I gotta Find it all funny'Cause I'm gettin' marriedAnd goin' on my honey-moon.Soon.Singin' g'bye an'Gonna fly inTo Kauai in"The HawaiianI ain' Worryin' or Cryin'Bout No Silver SpoonJust Hope There's no MonsoonWhen We're Off on Our HoneymoonTune."Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-42432235337438499602008-07-02T20:37:00.000-07:002008-07-02T21:57:21.684-07:00Had a job interview today. Eh, whatever. The human resources lady obviously needed resources 'cause she definitely lacked humanity. I'm waiting to hear from a better-but-still-corporate gig. And then there's the interview I had last week that I didn't get. Boo friggin' hoo.Big impersonal building. Ditzy office manager. As she'd stammer, she kept complaining of brain freezes, like she can Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-59454702571462325612008-07-01T16:55:00.000-07:002008-07-01T17:51:32.645-07:00Okay, last month had so few posts, barely making up for the previous month, which had no posts, like two months prior to that. So I'll try to be like the month between the post-less months, in which I wrote every day of the month. Can't promise I'll be as prolific, but I'll try to be more coherent than this paragraph.I finally sold my old laptop computer. Since I had gotten my new Macbook, I Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6271440.post-73983231615842065042008-06-22T00:12:00.000-07:002008-06-22T00:13:25.673-07:00How to take your mind off of swatting bugs outside on the hottest day of the year while waiting for a really good outdoor Shakespeare performance to begin:Michael: Who do you think would win in a fight: Macbeth or MacGyver?Adelphia: What?M: C’mon. The Thane of Cawdor with a dagger before him, versus Richard Dean Anderson with a paperclip and duct tape.A: Hmmm. Guess I’d bet on the guy Michaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17655319942904634388noreply@blogger.com