Tuesday, April 27, 2004

OK, to all those G-Men looking for government secrets in web logs, here's how to crack the code for my blog: Take the fourth letter of every fifth word when the entry comes on a Wednesday, and if it's on a Friday, take the second letter of every ninth word. For Tuesday, take the first letter of the sixth word, unless the word is a conjunction, in which case take the second letter of the next adjective appearing after the conjunction, but keep counting the sixth word. If the entry comes in on a Monday, don't bother – I was too tired to know what I was saying. That leaves Thursday and weekends. On those days, translate the entry into Serbocroatian, spell it out backwards and take out all the weird characters – stuff that you can't pronounce without spitting or coughing up phlegm. Then combine the remaining text with the other deciphered code, and you'll find the whereabouts of microfilm showing Rumsfeld playing nude hopscotch with Taliban leaders in the mountains of Uzbekistan. Sorry, that's alls I gots.


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