Make Mine Mike

My apartment at night, my roommates and me,
Got the lights and the stereo, the cable TV.
Right then E-lectricity had just begun to fade.
Con Edison's a business that insists on getting paid.
Yeah, see, 2 weeks ago, we managed to deduce
If we pay our bills soon they'd be cuttin' off our juice.
So we pulled out checks, wrote some figures down,
Gave my share to my roomie 'cause he works midtown.
He said, "I'll drop it off. No problem. At my leisure."
But it seems he got a case of selective amnesia.
The business relationship had simply gone sour:
They didn't get our money so we didn't get their power.
So it's dark, I'm spelunkin'. Y'know it's hard to handle
When the whole damn place ain't got one damn candle.
No lights, no alarm clock. I tell you it's a pity
'Cause we're the only cavemen livin' here in New York City
Now I see the light. Advice I take to heart:
Don't rely on your roomie. You'll be sittin' in the dark.

I'm not one of those people who can't wait for a band to put out a new album, has to rush out to Tower Records on the release date and play the CD over and over.

Unless it's the Beastie Boys.

I got their new CD yesterday. And I tell ya, whenever I listen to Adam Yauch, Mike Diamond and Adam Horowitz, I think, "Man, I could do that." I don't mean that in a bad way. People said the same thing about George M. Cohan's songs. But as simple as they were, no one else was composing classics like "Over There" and "Yankee Doodle Dandy". And who else but da B-Boyz could pen such brilliant rhymes as "More Adidas sneakers than a plumbers got pliers / Got more suits than Jacoby & Myers."

After I first heard the album "Paul's Boutique" I was inspired. I could relate to these guys. Like the Beasties, I was a white Jewish kid from the east coast. In fact, just like them, I eventually moved out to LA, though I'm always a New Yorker at heart. Hey, Mike D was like Mike me. That's why I wrote raps like the one above. Or this one:

Well, I gotta getta job, gotta start my career
'Cause graduation's over, real world is here.
Got a red power tie and a jacket & shooz
Headed on out to my interviewz
I get to the office, I'm lookin' round the place.
The man's readin' the paper, it's coverin' up his face.
"May I sit down?" I ask. "Yes you may."
But the guy don't even ask for my résumé.
He says, "Impress me boy, and you I will hire."
So I pull out my lighter, set his paper on fire.
He's yellin' & screamin' & callin' me names
While the Wall Street Journal goes up in flames.
Presses a button to call for security
Smoke detector sensed the impurity
Sprinkler goes off, people start to shout
An emergency exit – I rush right out
I'm runnin' & drippin' & my shooz iz squishin'
Remindin' me that I had failed on my mission
I got no job but I had lotsa fun
Guess I'm just destined to be a bum.

Still true today.

I even got together with a friend and recorded it on his 4-track mixer. Complete with synth drums, keyboards, an echo-machine, and overdubs.

And after hearing the playback... I decided to stick to writing, not rapping.

Still, after hearing "To the 5 Boroughs", I'm getting inspired to write up some new verses about my life these days.

Let's see: Grog, flog, demagogue... what else rhymes with blog...?