Make Mine Mike

Saw Resident Evil 2. Movies based on video games are bound to make no sense, but who cares? Living dead hellhounds, middle-school kids and topless hookers, facing off with Milla Jovovich in a torn mesh shirt, armed with a motorcycle and shotgun? After a long week, that’s exactly what I needed.

My friends felt the same way. I hadn’t hung out with them in a while, we’d all been so busy. And my buddy Jim was cracking me up. Maybe I was just in that kinda mood, or maybe he was getting handed all the right set-up lines...

There was a preview for some thriller starring Sarah Michelle Gellar. Weird murky imagery, too incoherent to be frightening. It was called The Grudge. The lyric, "Where’s that confounded bridge?" came to mind. Which was weird, ‘cause one of the other guys said, "’The Grudge’ – isn’t that the name of that cool Led Zep song?"

Jim said, "Yeah, and a shitty Buffy movie."

Previews often make me forget what I came to see. Then I remembered as the eerie music began. I was so excited to see something stupid and fun, I felt like asking a stupid question.

I whispered to Jim. "Hey, is this gonna be scary? Like, with lotsa zombies and stuff?"

"No. Just daisies," he said. "Daisies and Care Bears."

I laughed so loud the guy in the next row shushed me.