Make Mine Mike

"You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies. All of life's riddles are answered in the movies." -- Steve Martin, Grand Canyon

Maybe, maybe not. But it's often where I get my frame of reference.

Went running tonight with the group in Beverly Hills. Of course, normally I'm like Prefontaine in Without Limits, but I just took it easy so I could get back into the swing of things and chat with some other runners.

We all went over the usual b.s.: Are you gonna do a marathon soon? Watch out for that pink SUV. Yeah, I know how work sometimes keeps you from training.... Hey, I think that's Ozzy Osbourne's house. What do you do for a living?

One guy works for the LA radio station that runs Howard Stern and Tom Leykis. No, not an engineer, not a programmer... he's a salesman, offering airtime on the radio for companies to run commercials.

"So in other words, you sell air?"

He nodded, and looked down. I hope he wasn't embarrassed and was just watching his step. (Beverly Hills streets are paved with gold, y'know. Very slippery.)

"Like Billy Crystal in City Slickers?" I said. "Cool."

However he may have felt about his job, if you could relate it to the movies, it's not that bad.

There was a woman who's a low-level executive... for a toy company.

"You mean like Tom Hanks in Big?!"

She nodded too. Did they get these references? Had they seen enough movies? Or were they simply conserving their energy for the run?

Then they asked me what I do. Shit. I hate talking about my job.

I said with a faint smile, "You ever see Office Space?"

The Tom Hanks woman nodded again. "Well, Michael," she said, smiling, "I hope your last name isn't Bolton."