Make Mine Mike

The job of any studio development executive is to find that next big blockbuster or prestige picture. Which really means they get paid to find a reason to pass on 99.9% of all scripts that come their way.

My film school thesis instructor Jeff had worked extensively in The Biz, so he was well aware of this and took it upon himself to prepare us for the hardships to come. Which really meant he got paid to explore his sadistic tendencies and bark at us maggots for our lame story proposals. Boot camp for writers, I guess.

And granted, most of our ideas sucked. Garrett with his disturbing violence, me with my high-concept schlock, Joseph with his gratuitous sex stuff and Aldo with his I-don't-know-what-the-fuck. But while I've slightly exaggerated our pitches here, most of Jeff's responses are paraphrased from actual things he said in class.

No one I've encountered in the studio system was as bitter and cruel as Jeff; when they pass on your project, they're usually more polite about it. Hooray for Hollywood.

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