Make Mine Mike

Saturday was my first day of shooting Bags’ short film. Though I was fighting a cold the whole time, it went pretty well. Thanks to Bags, Pablo (the producer and asst. camera) and Kevin -- the D.P. (that’s director of photography, not double penetration, you sickos). Allen was there early on to take publicity stills, and maybe I’ll post ‘em later... For now, here’s some typical discussion on the set. Ah, the glamour of movie-making...

“Camera’s ready...”
“Yeah, but the bathroom mirror isn’t fogged up.”
“Are you running the hot water again?”
“Yeah, it takes longer each take...”
*Impatient, Mike breathes hot air on mirror*
“Hey, that worked! Do that again.”
“Dammit, Bags. First you film me in the bedroom, then in the shower, now you want me giving blow jobs. What kind of movie is this?”
“Porno snuff. We still have to film you stabbing yourself.”
“Oh yeah..."
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“Remember in this scene, you’re getting sick...”
“Okay...”
“We’re still rolling...”
*AWFUL PHLEGMY COUGH*
“And... cut! Excellent!”
“Wow, Mike, how’d you do that?”
“Eh, method acting...”
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“Got the right F-stop?”
“Yeah. Put it on sticks?”
“Or I can set up the jib...”
“Nah, let’s do it hand-held.”
“Hey, Bags, what’s my motivation here?”
“For fainting? You’re gushing blood, Mike.”
“Oh, okay. But I’m not really gushing here...”
“I’d say it’s more like he’s oozing...”
“Let’s get some more corn syrup!”
“Hey, don’t get that sticky crap on the sound boom.”
“I thought this shot was M.O.S.”
“What’s M.O.S.?”
“Mitout sound.”
“‘Mit’?”
“It’s from the Germans, in the early cinema days...”
“Hey, Mr. von Stroheim, we’re behind schedule.”
“Yeah, let’s get on ‘mit’ it...”
“And... action!”