Make Mine Mike

Even a couple of lousy teams, battling for third place, make for good baseball. I always enjoy going to a Dodgers game, though last night my friends & I agreed: L.A.'s line-up looked anemic. It was like watching Triple-A ball. And their opponents -- the Giants -- were hardly impressive either. When both squads are a buncha fumbling fools, the California contention doesn’t particularly mean much.

I wished I was back east, seeing the Yanks-Red Sox rivalry. Especially when Boston brought in Curt Schilling for a relief performance and A-Rod clobbered out the game-winning homer. Bombers are only a game and half behind the Sox, and when they take the lead... there won’t be any wild-card berth for Boston. See ya in another 86 years.

But back west, I was still having a great time. Weather was perfect over Elysian Fields. It was a close game; San Francisco won 4-3. Our seats were down the first base-line, toward right field, but I could still see the action at the plate... whoever the hell these guys are. Jeff Kent's their best hitter, and he ain't all that. Can't field for shit. For me, I enjoy their Asian acquisitions, 'cause their names are fun to say: Hee-Seop Choi. Chin-Feng Chen.

Here's a few more observations:

Dodger Dogs! Ingredients: Ground-up catcher's mask, Astroturf, Gloveoleum and pine tar. Everything a growing boy needs.

It's kinda sad that the beach-ball bobble sometimes gets more attention than the game itself. When the entire loge section gave out a collective "awwww!", I looked out at the field thinking Jeff Kent made his third error for the night, but it turned out that inflated plastic thing bounced out of our section, down to the ground level seats.

Similarly, a fight broke out in the bleachers, and it caught the crowd's attention. Even the outfielders turned around to watch. Maybe baseball needs to be more of a contact sport. When a hitter rounds the bases he oughta have to duke it out with everyone in the infield. Would bring new meaning to "chin music". Or "Chin-Feng-Chen music"?

Another stadium staple: The Wave. Yeah, it still looks kinda neat... but this trend’s over 20 years old, folks. And if I have to stand up, it means I might drop my delicious Dodger Dog.

On the other hand, I love the 7th Inning Stretch. 50,000 people simultaneously singing "Take me out the ball game" with one wise-ass saying "root root root against the home team..." Yeah, I gotta be that way.