Make Mine Mike

Convoluted Contemplations and Conclusions

People say I think too much.
I say people don’t think enough.
Others say I’m too sensitive.
I wish others would be more sensitive.
Women say I’m too hard on myself.
I’d like to be hard on more --
Well, you can see where I’m going with this.
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My father’s parents considered themselves Hungarian, but they actually lived in what was then part of the Austro-Hungarian Empire; today that area is Slovakia. After seeing Hostel last weekend -- scary -- I’m not so inclined to go back and visit their homeland. On the other hand, I enjoyed the moment in Eurotrip, when they accidentally wound up in Bratislava with no more than a buck-fifty between ‘em, and were able to live like kings. Conclusion: I should stop making travel plans based on movies.
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Speaking of movies, my friends had just seen The Producers and were laughing about it as we had dinner last weekend… except we couldn’t talk long, because something reeked. It was like really bad body odor. Wasn’t me -- I was late getting there ‘cause I had just showered. No, it was the people in the booth behind us. And they were young women. I thought that was strange. Women always smell so good. I mean, sometimes chicks stink in the figurative sense, but never literally. As we moved to a new booth, the woman in our group joked that the smelly sisters were probably students of the University of California at Santa Cruz. What an odd conclusion, I thought. She explained that UC Santa Cruz is a big party school. And some of these kids are so high, they forget to bathe for days, hence the awful odor. It was still a big assumption, but the fact remained: once we moved the air was breathable again. But since the girls were finishing their meal, they’d be walking past us again. My friend was facing them, so he could see when they were approaching. He came up with a signal to warn us. Conclusion: I no longer laugh at “Bialyschtock und Bloooom!”, but hold my breath and associate it with UC Stenchy Cruz.