Make Mine Mike

This is my fifth Father's Day without my dad. It's not that sad -- this was never a big deal in my family. Just like Pops' birthday in the summer, it was often celebrated with just a card and gift; we didn't necessarily go out to visit him if I wasn't home. The more meaningful times came in the spring, when we spent Passover together and similarly during Thanksgiving and the winter holidays. But I think about him all year long, and miss poking fun at all his "Harveyisms". I found this cartoon I did as a gift probably about 15 yrs. ago. MAD Magazine had a bit about famous comedians each doing a different take on the "fly in the soup" joke, and my mom suggested I do the same about the ol' man.

You can click on the image to enlarge it, but I've also transcribed the scrawled schticks below. Happy Father's Day.



EDDIE MURPHY: Ya mudda's a bigfoot, Harvey! Da first time she came here she said "Goony Goo Goo!" I thought I learned some new Hungarian. I said to my friend, Zoltan: I said, "Zoltan, Goony-googoo." He said, "Get da &$@*$ away from me, man." She's a bigfoot! Da kids are afraid, she can't climb da stairs,... I bet she could climb a TREE good!

GEORGE CARLIN: Harvey smokes a lot of cigarettes. Cigar-ettes. "Ette" is French for small or feminine. Are cigarettes miniature, wimpy cigars? What the Marlboro Man think if he (in macho voice) out there rustlin' in the West, realized he was smoking (in falsetto) cigarettes? Harvey fills a lotta ashtrays. Why is it called an "ashtray"? It's not a tray it's a dish, isn't it? It should be called an "ash-dish". Hmmmm...

SAM KINISON: I tell ya folks, whenever Harvey has a job where he's gotta dig a trench, it rains. Not just rain, I MEAN @&$*!# FLASH FLOODS!! THREE DAYS STRAIGHT! IT'S LIKE LIVING HELL!! Remember a few years ago, when we had that summer with the drought, and we had to conserve water? Do you know why that happened? I'll tell you why: BECAUSE HARVEY DIDN'T DIG A TRENCH THAT SUMMER!! AAUGGGH!!!!

BILL COSBY: This man would come home, would not say hello to his wife, ask his kids how their day was, but would say, "Did you check the pH of the pool?" (Long pause, goofy face) This is the family that adored him, cared for him... so much that they didn't mind that they could never enter or leave a room without getting him something -- a glass of water, an ashtray. (Long pause, goofier face) They didn't mind that they'd be seated for twenty minutes, and Harvey would say, "As long as you're up"...

DANA CARVEY as the CHURCH LADY: So, Harvey... we sleep for about three hours a night, do we? Up at the wee hours of the morning every day? A little incessant insomniacal insanity, hmmm? I wonder who could be causing this... could it be, oh... SATAN?! And we're annoyed at our children for being able to sleep late on Saturdays... isn't that CONVENIENT?! We like ourselves, now, don't we? Isn't that special? (Purses lips, raises eyebrow)

RODNEY DANGERFIELD: Hey, yeah, I tellya... No respect, no respect. My wife makes fun of me, says I never remember any movie, even after I saw it last night. I told my son, "I'm gonna divorce your mother." He said, "Who gets me?" No respect. (Tugs at collar, bulges eyes) Yeah, nothin' goes my way. Yesterday, I bet the triple; I had the 'C' horse to win and I knew that the 'G' or the 'D' horse would be-- Hey, wait! I'm not finished! Wait! Where ya goin'?...