Make Mine Mike

Bad news: Still can’t believe my car was rear-ended.
Good news: No big deal. It only seemed to be a dented bumper and busted taillight.
Bad news: Upon inspection, the damage was more extensive than that. The whole body was slammed and so will my wallet after I get it fixed.
Good news: No, the insurance company says I’m only responsible for paying the deductible.
Bad news: I can’t even afford the deductible. And my car will be in the shop for weeks.
Good news: I'll save $ on gas and ride my bike in the meantime.
Bad news: What bike? It got stolen last week, remember?
Good news: Okay, well, I think my policy provides for car rentals during repairs. Didn’t I sign up for that?
Bad news: Nope.
Good news: Hey, my sister said she’d lend me her extra car while mine’s out. That's incredibly nice of her.
Bad news: Right, but... You mean since she bought a new vehicle, she never got around to selling the old one? That car’s been sitting around for so long, it required us getting it jump-started, smog-checked, insured, and registered with the DMV, not to mention cleaning off the foot of dust sitting on top of it. Wasn’t that gray thing once green?
Good news: So, all these chores will help her sell it later. And hey, it’s a Mustang.
Bad news: From 1994.
Good news: So?
Bad news: 12-year-old cars are like 12-year-old children: The foreign kids are precocious little things solving complex equations in three separate languages. But the American ones are stupid, lazy and already have arthritis and clogged arteries.
Good news: Maybe the car ain’t much, but it’ll do. I don’t have far to drive these days anyway.
Bad news: Because I don’t have a job.
Good news: Because I’m on hiatus. Our show got picked up for another season and I’ll be working again soon.
Bad news: Well, I’m not being as productive with the free time as I’d planned.
Good news: Right, because I’ve been having fun hanging out with Adelphia.
Bad news: She went out of town this week.
Good news: That’ll give me time to do things I wasn’t getting done.
Bad news: Who we kidding? I’m gonna procrastinate and watch baseball games.
Good news: Did you see the Yankees beat Boston five in a row?
Bad news: Uh...
Good news: Yes...?
Bad news: I don't have a negative spin on that. That’s friggin’ awesome!