Make Mine Mike

Summer plan: Vary physical exercise.
Cycle more? Bike stolen.
Swim more? Back muscles pulled.
Finally get a massage? Check.
Remind yourself you’ve done the most passive activity.
Lazy bastard.
Okay -- in same day, finally try yoga and rock climbing.
Go with rock climbing friends on free visitors night.
Notice everyone has same idea.
Notice it’s very noisy in rock climbing place.
Notice the sound bounces off rock walls.
Notice yoga class in middle of all this.
Bad place to do yoga.
Worse: Instructor is soft-spoken guy from Rhode Island.
Strain to hear New England accent.
“Pull ahhms fahh faw dowwn daag.”
Down dog? Striking cobra? Crouching platypus?
Yoga is glorified stretching.
But with hot chicks in skimpy clothes. Doing glorified stretching.
Yoga better seen than heard.
Next try rock climbing.
Find beginner’s wall easy.
Reach top in no time.
Look down.
Shit.
Find friends know what they’re doing.
Allow you to rappel down safely.
Alleviate fear.
Get you to try harder routes.
Negative slopes. Inverted walls.
Learn proper grips, adjusting balance.
Challenging, but fun.
Would be easier if you were lighter.
Should’ve lost more weight.
Lazy bastard.
Still, friends impressed.
Most beginners don’t do half as much.
Feel encouraged, strong.
Watch friends go across ceiling like pair of spiders.
Feel humbled, weak.
Decide climbing Mt. Whitney long way away.
Still, decide rock climbing friggin' rocks.
Blog about it next day.
Consider what aches the most.
Shoulders from yoga?
Groin from awkward rappelling incident?
No -- hands from gripping rock climbing wall.
Typing hurts.
Write in short sentences.