Make Mine Mike

Just got back from moving furniture around at my sister’s place. Sure, schlepping schtuff like a schmo for my schister is kinda schitty. And this week I’ll probably be chauffeuring all my relatives as they converge to her place for Turkey Day, and then, during the weekend, all around Los Angeles -- the artistic cousins to the Getty Center, the gay ones to West Hollywood and the alcoholics to the Betty Ford Clinic.

But really I can’t complain, considering all my sister does. She’s pretty amazing. Showing grace under fire. Or under a shit storm. Literally.

Her beloved condo had its waste pipe burst a few weeks ago, so as the building’s hired workers were cleaning out the crap and replacing all the refuse-ruined rugs, my sister crashed at a friend's house a few towns over. She spent almost a month living out of a suitcase, entertaining her pal's toddlers and still doing her growned-up lawyer job.

This weekend she’s moved back home, but can’t exactly relax ‘cause she’s gotta get the joint fixed up for all family from out-of-town, and the feast to fill our bellies. Yeah, like she had any time for that -- it’s not the last minute yet.

She spent one morning volunteering for her mentoring program -- kind of a big sister thing, which is cool especially because it was in Pasadena, a town my big sister knows, unlike Malibu -- the site or their last outing, where she might get lost and call me non-stop for directions.

Then we both raced over to see our mother, reminding the ol’ lady: “no, Mom, today’s not Thanksgiving so please stop worrying about what to wear or about that grudge you hold against your sister-in-law back in Jersey whom you haven’t seen in years and who won’t be coming anyway… we’ve had this same conversation every time we see you… since August, Mom.”

And finally my sister went to volunteer again, helping to set up her silent auction banquet, raising money for a firm that provides legal service to low-income families. In the live auction, I wanted to bid on the golden retriever puppy, but it went for over three grand. Cute, but too rich for my blood. Otherwise those functions are a bit on the boring side. But since my girlfriend Adelphia came -- looking cute, too (and more glamorous than any puppy) -- she helped me get through it.

That was just Saturday. Today my sister did another hundred tasks for the holidays, and I think she still has to file some legal briefs on Monday morning. Is her personality type A? Fuckin’ A.

So playing moving-man-little-brother wasn’t such a big bother. At least I can say I did something. About the only other task I accomplished this weekend was finishing the Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle.

And, hell, I had Adelphia’s help with that, too.