Make Mine Mike

MIKE & MERV: Part 3

Had a great time last night at Bar Lubitsch for an LA Blogger bash. Adelphia & I met up with Nina and Will and other cool new people -- Annika, Leyla, Louis, Rachel and TC -- but one too many Gingerbread martinis keeps me from remembering all the details.

Besides, what does this have to do with my game show performance? Here's the next segment of "Merv Griffin's Crosswords", with my commentary below:



0:05: In case you were wondering, there was no studio audience. Any applause or laughter is completely canned in. Amazingly, most of it was done on the spot, so we contestants heard reactions instantaneously, allowing us to believe we were humiliating ourselves in real time.

0:32: Now the host Ty Treadway has explained the spoilers. Among all my opponents, I pegged Bill as the biggest threat. Earlier, when we contestants were waiting and watching others play via closed circuit, we'd shout out answers as we knew ‘em. Bill seemed to know the most, including the more obscure clues. I admired and dreaded that guy. But sitting on a couch playing along is different than being under the lights and under the gun. I was hoping that crosswords savant would fall victim to performance anxiety.

1:05: As Ty said, I was playing defense here. Wasn’t 100% on the answer, but when I heard a spoiler ring in, I figured I better do so too and take a chance, since the people at the podium get to answer first. I’m a born & BRED strategist, I tells ya.

1:36: Yes, I’m playing defense again here. No, I’ve never watched “Everyone Loves Raymond”. And yes, I realize my answer was completely stupid. Dumb luck here. By the way, I hate the word “hubby”. Even in this puzzle-solving hobby, "hubby" gives me the heebee-jeebies.

2:19: This is one of the big flaws of this show. In a puzzle, you’d get to see the cross clues -- the words that intersect. So you’d have some idea of what would fit. But without ‘em, there could be several perfectly good answers. My AROMATIC, Bill’s REDOLENT and the puzzle’s FRAGRANT all were good 8-letter words for pleasant-smelling. ODIFEROUS or “Odoriferofarious” or however Nancy tried to spell it, is not.

2:34: This was from watching too many episodes of “On the Lot” which was sponsored not-so-subtly by FORD.

2:57: Alaska has cities like Kodiak, Ketchikan, Kenai… I mixed Kirkuk up with ‘em. So I hesitated, not knowing if the correct -- and politically correct Eskimo term -- was ALEUT or INUIT, but I was way off…

3:19: I like to nod knowingly, as if to say, “ahhh, of course!” I’m usually thinking, “who comes up with this shit? Sure as hell ain’t Will Shortz.”

3:50: Erin kept the game interesting by answering wrong and reactivating the other spoilers. Nice lady. How I hated her.

4:25: I thought of the answer -- a hot dog PANTS -- but too late. I had to hope the spoiler didn’t figure it out...

4:35: ...but she blanked out. I lucked out.

4:56: My look was goofy, but the sentiment was genuine. I love Vegas.

5:32: Again, defense. I wasn’t gonna let Bill take my trips to Indian Wells & Vegas.

5:57: Lucky again. I didn’t know it, and worried Bill did. Truly was EERIE.

6:13: Everyone later said my IDEA was clever, but what can you do? Say HALO -- and goodbye -- to my leetle friend, $200.

7:01: Do enough crossword puzzles, and words like INLAND become second nature. But will that any of that help if I choke like I’m on a NOOSE...?

Stay tuned for Part 4...