Make Mine Mike

5 thoughts inspired by attending last week's L.A. Kings game:

1. Since when did Columbus have a professional hockey team?

2. What the hell is a Bluejacket?

3. I wasn't the only confused one at the Staples Center. The guys seated behind us insisted that that a long slap shot on goal was a three-pointer, and they kept shouting for the Kings to pass the puck to Kobe.

4. But the most fascinating fan was the guy seated up front, three rows from the ice, who danced frantically at every break in the action. From up in our nosebleeds, we recognized his signature spastic moves -- it was the Westside Rentals Guy. The Kings' mascot was annoyed with him, trying to keep him seated. Guess it was because a hyperactive spaz wearing a powdered wig was a lot more fun to watch than some dude dressed like a lion. But I wondered if the lion would show up on the corner of Wilshire and 11th Street just to undermine the other guy at his workplace.

5. I'm getting a new laptop 'cause my other computers are way too out of date. Got me thinking to when I was a kid and we had a Commodore Vic 20. It bothered my dad that his kids knew something he didn't, so he took computer programming courses at the local jr. high school, and Dennis Potvin of the NY Islanders (hence the hockey tie-in) was in his class. But Dad just didn't get it. He'd toil away at his BASIC programming homework and shout from the living room, "Hey Mikeyyyy!" and I got too tired from running in to easily fix his dumb mistakes. "Give it up, Dad," I'd yell from my room. "Yer toooo schtupid." He insisted Dennis Potvin was also struggling in this class. I said, "Hey, you get four Stanley Cups, and then I'll let you off the hook."