Make Mine Mike

Adelphia: Do you wanna watch "Top Chef"?
Michael: Eh.
A: C'mon, the show's got good food.
M: So? I can't eat any of it.
A: And a hot host.
M: You mean...?
A: No, not Giada diLauren-tits.
M: Hey, don't disparage my other girlfriend. I don't let her talk shit about you.
A: Yeah, right. Anyway, "Top Chef" has got Padma Lakshmi.
M: "Lox Schmear?"
A: Lakshmi. She's Salman Rushdie's ex-wife.
M: Salmon's Lox Schmear?
A: Just watch, will you?
M: How did she get that scar on her arm?
A: I don't know. Maybe the same way Tina Fey got the scar on her face.
M: Really?
A: Why not.
M: Fine, I'll watch. But I already tried "30 Rock" and there was no Lox-shmear-Fey cat fight...