Make Mine Mike

As you may know, I'm not too shabby at doing crossword puzzles. Maybe last Sunday's New York Times grid was particularly easy, or I'm getting better 'cause I finished it and challenged myself with the acrostic.

10 letters, 2 words, all-time pro home run leader: BARRY BONDS, right? Nope, didn't jive with the cross-clues. So maybe it's an asterisk steroid issue. Well, HENRY AARON is 10 letters. Nope, that didn't work either. What could it be? Ahh, American-centric me forgot about the Japanese pro leagues: SADAHARU OH hit 868 lifetime homers. Domo arigato, you clever crossword clue creators.

Oh, by the way, as you probably know, I'm a big geek.

A geek who'll destroy you at word games. Don't even try to compete with me in Scrabble. I'll bingo your ass into oblivion on the triple word score.

But unless you're willing to bring your bag of tiles and timer over, you'll just have to take my word for it. 'Cause I won't play online. Sorry, FaceBook folks, you can stare at your Scrabulous screens 'til you scream, but not me.

I'm clean and Scrabble-sober now.

At one time, though, I was addicted to a different online Scrabble network, not to mention Yahoo's literati. It was bad, man. It was bad. I had a 10-game-a-day habit, maybe more... who can remember when you have that many blank tiles and anagrams running through your head...

But I kicked it, worked the program (by not downloading the program), and took 12 steps toward the shelf where I keep the board games. Now when I'm jonesing for some word play, I gotta physically use a pen (no pencil for me) to write in the Sunday Times puzzle, or go up against a Scrabble opponent face-to-face, looking him in the eye to see if he's got that dreaded Q or not.

Next: My visit to the West LA Scrabble club.