Make Mine Mike

Last month was full of drama (wedding planning), more drama (the middle school play Adelphia directed -- I'm very proud of her and her students... and, ahem, I deserve some props for making some props)... and comedy.

Such as the beautiful Saturday afternoon that Adelphia and I went down to Abbot Kinney. I've taken her there on occasion, mostly to enable her Pinkberry fix. But there's a lot more to that stretch in Venice than franchised fro-yo. It's become pretty chic in recent years, full of fancy little boutiques and restaurants, with a hipster/beach bum vibe. Perfect for walking around after riding my bike, following behind my cute fiancee as she pedals her one-speed cruiser with its bell & basket.

We made a lot of local discoveries -- weird art galleries, a cool book store that would've been the perfect place for a West Coast wedding shower that won't happen (see above regarding drama), and wine bars.

There was also a tavern that seemed wonderfully out of place. No pretense to it, just a local dive. Adelphia loved that they advertised cheap margaritas during happy hour. I liked the pool tables, video arcades, and the regular joes hanging out the bar.

"We needed to add this place to our repertoire," Adelphia said. "I think there's even a back patio area."

As she went to check it out, I slipped into the men's room. I'd been holding it in all afternoon.

Relieved at relieving myself, I stood in the stall and leaned back, looking upward. That's when I noticed the decorations above me -- the ceiling was plastered with a photo collage. I focused on one of the pictures.

It was a dude. A naked dude. A naked, buff dude. A naked buff dude with an erect penis. Come to think of it, all the photos were -- whoa -- penis, penis, penis, penis... Wait a minute...

I left the men's room and saw Adelphia, who had come back from exploring the establishment and had the same expression on her face as I did. She said, "Did you realize that--"

"I know," I said. "This gay bar doesn't have a fire exit!"

We walked out, thinking perhaps this wasn't a place to add to our pub crawl routine, even though it was pretty cool, aside from the pastiche of penis potpourri. And the patrons were pretty cool, too. As we left, the regular joes at the bar waved and shouted in unison, "Bye!!!"