Wednesday, July 09, 2008

The trainer at my gym asked where I'd been, which gave me mixed feelings. Guilty that I hadn't been there in week, defensive in explaining that I hadn't slacked off -- I was running regularly the whole time, proud that I covered so many miles, but also a bit flattered that my absence was noticed.

But I mentioned I couldn't allow myself to skip workouts if I wanted to look half decent on the beach during my honeymoon. And that's when the trainer introduced me to his newest client, some guy who was also getting married soon.

We briefly chatted about where each of our ceremonies would take place, and when. His is a few weeks after mine. "Time's runnin' out fast," he said.

"I know." I said. "It's kinda weird. I keep thinking, 'Me? Married?'"

Then he said, "Oh, is this your first time getting married?"

"Yeah. Why? Oh, have you been married before?"

"No. This is my first time," he said.

Then why did he ask me that? That's when I had mixed feelings again. Besides confused, of course.

I suppose it was obvious I was older than this youngsta, and maybe to this kid, I must be a veteran at nuptials. His trainer, who's 5 years my senior, has been married and divorced twice.

But it's not just this guy. When my fiancee and I met with rabbis, among the questions they'd ask would be whether or not either of us had been married before. And when we said no, each rabbi seemed genuinely surprised.

Sure, lots of people have tied the knot and untied it by the time they're our age, and I don't just mean crazy celebrities. But I can also name tons of contemporaries who are yet to take the plunge. Good-looking, personable types, too. Some want to find that special someone and haven't yet, and others don't.

Sorry, I don't mean to sound like that sappy Kurt Vonnegut commencement speech crap. When it comes to the fact that I was never married before, I guess I find it surprising that some people find it so surprising.

Maybe it's just an age thing -- am I sensitive about doing something that many people do a decade before me? It's all relative, really. I mean, take this whippersnapper at the gym. I'm happy for him that he found that special someone so soon... but it may take him years to develop the discipline to stay healthy. Say what you will, but some of us ol' folks don't need any personal trainer to get in shape for their honeymoon.


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