Make Mine Mike

Nearly every day we get something from our registry. It's fun to come home and find out we got another package delivered. These are all things we need, and the generosity of gifting friends is greatly appreciated... but I realized I'm just not that materialistic. The more stuff you have, the more stuff can be broken or taken away. And I hate clutter. The minute we got our full set of dishes, I packed up the old ones and took 'em away. I'm an utter clutter cutter.

In fact, when I indulge in fantasies about having obscene amounts of money, I can rarely think of stuff to get... just stuff to do or services to purchase. I'd definitely hire a chauffeur. Or a helicopter pilot.

But just to get around other places, not because I'd live on some ridiculously lavish estate. When I was visiting Hearst Castle, I kept thinking about what a waste of money it all was. I mean, that guy really pissed it away on tacky tapestries and furniture. Money don't buy you taste.

But exploring his old guest house, with entire sections brought over from ancient churches or Medieval structures, it got me thinking. You know what would be cool? To build a house with secret passageways, like trap doors and revolving bookcases ("Put the candle back!"). Maybe I'd have it set up so that anyone visiting would have to maneuver through labyrinths and uncover clues and decipher 'em to get to their destination -- which might be a life-size Rock Band arena, in a pool like Hearst's, minus the gawdy marble statues. On the way, there'd also be booby traps and perilous results if they didn't follow the right path... Yeah, that'd be a fun way to blow some cash. Maybe someday...

But for now, I'm happy getting packages of kitchen appliances and glassware. Be grateful for what you get, right? If I want something booby-trapped, thank goodness it's not the mail.